The Beanie of Power

Frederick saw it by the side of the road. He could never resist a distraction and stopped to pick it up. It was a delightful, multi-colored beanie. It was the geeky type with a propeller and featured triangles of orange, green, and blue. He thought it amusing to plop it on his head for the bike ride home. As he pedaled it won him a variety of interesting looks, which made him smile. He was an extrovert and shameless slave to novelty. He couldn't have known that his brain was now encased within the perimeter of the glorious Beanie of Power.

Most things with special powers have inherent drawbacks. Like Spider-Man's web or Batman's cape. They really don't allow you to fly - just swing or glide. The Beanie of Power seemed just the opposite, virtually all it had were drawbacks.

Frederick fell off his bike into some grass in a remote field. He was surprised to discover he had gone blind, deaf, mute, and was completely paralyzed. After a minute of this he was not amused; three days later, even less so.

After the initial several weeks of terror wore off he was relieved to discover he felt neither hunger nor thirst. In fact, he felt alright. Then the boredom set it. That lasted about a year.

Eventually he began to feel comfortable with the environment. He began to appreciate the little things - the thought of eating key lime pie...balloons, lemmings, monkeys. These things still amused him, now more than ever, and without any distractions he was capable of giving them his full attention.

A few years later, as he pondered what he believed to be something of some significance he was suddenly very distracted. First the thunder of hearing, then the brilliance of light. He squinted. The beanie had been blown off by the wind. He saw it sailing into the distance.

Frederick resumed his train of thought as he began to pedal. He was less distracted the rest of the way home.