The Inconvenience of Admiral Stanley

Admiral Stanley had some twine.
He wrapped it round his wrist.
No telling if he was in time.
He hurled it through the mist.

The loop must have found the stern,
He pulled as if to tow.
It would be too late to learn
Upon the rocks below.

Mates aboard, they hollered back
"Leave us Admiral Stan.
Ya done enough ya worthless hack,
Now let us to our plan."

Reaching for the solid pier,
He tried to tie her tight.
Argh the end was oh so near,
He pulled with all his might.

But the ship was far too great.
He could not slow it down.
He thought about the awful fate,
How could he let them drown?

Tied securely to the dock,
A rope was strong but short.
Tied around strong as a lock
His foot the last resort.

Not a moment could he rest
The length it shortened still,
Other end around his chest
He tied it with great skill.

Soon it pulled him off the side
And robbed him of his breath.
Body stretched he winced and cried,
But kept them from their death.

For a minute, maybe two
But then he left the dock
Leaving more than just his shoe
Not mentioning the sock.

And while he began to fall
The twine, the crew did sheer.
Ker plunk he went, and heard by all,
They bellowed with a cheer.

On the bank young Stanley crawled
Belt tightly round his stub.
Warnings to his mates he called,
Alas, not but a snub.

Then downstream a scarlet hue
The crew reduced to bait.
Seen or listened, if they knew,
Of either awful fate.