Darby the Boulder Hunter

Darby was known far and wide as an excellent boulder hunter. All day he would walk with his head locked to the ground trying to spot the characteristic rocky glint. He had a knack for knowing which ones were pebbles and which ones were huge and deeply entrenched. It was a rare and precious gift. No one quite knew how he did it.

But while scanning for boulders, Darby was always thinking about things too much. He kept asking these silly questions. One morning he sat on a big one he had just rolled out of the dirt and turned to his buddy Brutus...

"So, who do ya think needs this boulder, aye?"

"Asking questions like that sure won't help you dig'm out any faster. Find'm neither."

Darby nodded slightly, stood, and rolled it across the field to the scale to collect his pay.

"120 pounds." said Warden. "That affords you two pieces."

He always wondered why they weighed it. Every boulder he ever found paid exactly two pieces of silver. He took them, put them in his front pocket, and watched Warden roll the boulder towards the pit as he always did. It bounced down a wooden ramp and then dropped into oblivion. He couldn't count how many boulders he had seen fall over the years, but it was plenty. He was very curious.

Later that morning, as he was dropping off a particularly large boulder, he spoke up again.

"Ya know, I've always wondered...how deep does this hole go, Warden? What's at the bottom?"

Warden smiled, exposing his gold teeth, and opened the gate.

"Go ahead, mate. Walk out and take a look."

The ramp sloped down at a 45 degree angle. It would be an easy fall. Darby picked up a little orange pebble and threw it into the pit, then listened closely. Nothing. It was very deep. He decided there were probably better places to focus his curiosity out in the fields. He declined Warden's offer.

"If you ever change yer mind, you just holler, alright?"

"Sure thing, Warden."

Darby walked back toward the field, but it was time for lunch, so he stopped by Chef's place. He handed both silver pieces to Chef, who handed him a meatloaf sandwich.

"So, Chef, you know how much I enjoy your meatloaf. I just have to know...is there any food other than meatloaf? I mean, I wouldn't expect it to be any better. I just thought you might know."

"Oh sure, there's bread to put on either side of the meatloaf, in addition to the bread that goes in the meatloaf."

"I mean besides bread and meat..."

"Ya know. No one's ever asked that before. What don't you like about my meatloaf?"

"Oh, nothing, I like it just fine. Love it, actually. You know. I'm just curious."

"Well, you better stop spreading any rumors about food better than meatloaf. There ain't any as far as I know, and there sure ain't no reason to go looking for anything else if you ask me."

"I understand, Chef. I didn't mean to cause concern. Thanks for the sandwich. Oh, one more thing...who do you buy your meat and bread from?"

"Meat from Uncle Stan and Bread from Aunt Mary. One silver piece goes to each for that sandwich you just bought."

"You don't keep any of it?"

"Nope. Stan and Mary require 1 piece each per sandwich."

"Can't you charge more?"

"Nope. I've found boulder hunters can't afford to pay more than that. I need to stay in business."

"Can't you make the sandwiches smaller so you can sell more of them?"

"Nope. Stan and Mary require all sandwiches meet specific nutritional requirements for the health of all boulder hunters."

"Oh, I see. Thanks Chef. See you around."

Darby walked across the field and through the herd of cattle in Stan's front yard. He knocked on Stan's door.

"Hello? Darby? That you?"

"That's right, Stan. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Go right ahead."

"Why do you charge so much for meat?"

"Got to. Mary makes me feed the cattle this special purple grass. She won't bake bread for loaf unless I feed the cattle right. So, I've got to work with Mary or I'm out of a business."

"Oh, OK. Thanks Stan. By the way, can you tell me where Mary lives?"

"Sure can, just down those stairs over on the side of the hill there. See, there's even a sign. Say's 'To Mary's Place.' I can let you through the gate, but maybe you ought to get back to hunting for boulders, Darby."

"No, Stan, I need to figure out what's going on here. I insist."

Stan slowly opened the large wooden gate and Darby walked over to the steps. He walked down and down and down, and they spiraled around the hill. For hours Darby walked until he finally saw a little house nestled into the side of the hill. He knocked on the door.

"Who's there."

"Darby, ma'am. I'm a boulder hunter. Can I speak with you for a moment?"

A woman opened the door slightly and peered through the crack.

"Oh, yes, Darby. I've heard a lot about you. Please come in."

She seemed like a nice lady and offered him some tea, which he graciously accepted.

"Mary, I just want to know. Why do you make Stan feed his cattle purple grass."

"Oh, well they must be fed purple grass. You boulder hunters are very valuable and require nothing but the healthiest, grass-fed animals for your meatloaf."

"Yes, well, the thing is, I spend all my money on meatloaf."

"And what's wrong with that? Are you saying there is something wrong with Chef's loaf!?"

"No, it's not that. I like his loaf just fine. It's just that, well, I need to save silver. Decades of rolling boulders has taken its toll, ya know. I need to start saving for retirement."

"Oh, don't worry about retirement, Darby. Mary will take care of you and all of your loaf needs for as long as you live. The bread business is very lucrative."

"Well, that's very kind of you, but I would like to care for my own retirement, thank you. I really would rather not depend on charity."

"Oh, it's not charity, Darby. It is yours already, I assure you, for your life of hard work. It's part of the boulder hunter's contract that all hunters receive at birth. I will give it to you when you need it."

"Yes, well, how do I know you have enough silver?"

"Follow me."

Darby followed Mary through a long hallway. They approached a door and Mary opened it with a large key. Inside was an enormous pile of silver.

"See, Darby, there is plenty for everybody. I have been saving it for you."

"So, this is where all that silver goes?"

"Yes, the bread business is very lucrative indeed. This is the safest place around."

"Oh. Hm. Well, I have another question...where does Warden get all that silver to pay the boulder hunters?"

"From me, Darby. I pay Warden for every boulder he drops down the pit."

"Why do you do that? What do you need with a bunch of worthless rocks?"

"I'm glad you asked. Follow me."

Darby followed Mary through another door and into a large room. This room was well-lit with an enormous glass ceiling and filled with fruit trees, gardens, and even fields of grain. They walked over to a spring-fed pond among the grove of apple and apricot trees. An enormous parrot flew directly over Darby and landed on a branch above him.

"This is my garden, Darby. This is where I grow the grain for Chef's bread. Isn't it beautiful?"

Darby looked at a crowd of people feasting at a extravagant smorgusboard intricately arranged among the grove. Others were on ladders picking fruit. There was laughter and games and everybody seemed to be having a very good time. It looked like the bread business was very profitable indeed. She continued...

"Boulder hunters eat loaf, Darby, but you prefer something more, don't you? Plenty more. You prefer cherries, grapes, and rhubarb."

"Well, I do, to tell you the truth."

"Here we eat anything we desire. What we can't get from our own crops we acquire from across the globe. We have rutabaga, mango, sugar beets, anything at all."

"That sounds fabulous, but..."

"Then I invite you to come work for me in our commune, Darby. You will have all this and more. We will never exhaust our supply. Join us."

"And leave Brutus and the rest of the crew? How would they get along without me?"

"There is plenty of work for all of the boulder hunters. Darby, I can offer the position to you, and you alone."

Darby thought about the possibility. He imagined a life eating fruit fresh from the trees in the beautiful commune. Then he thought about the boulder field and the back breaking work. Then he thought about his gift for finding boulders. He was needed there. Life would be so much harder in the fields without his help. He just couldn't bear to abandon them.

His curiosity returned. He knew he could not accept her offer, but he decided it was an opportunity to learn more. She still hadn't answered his question...

"So what does all this have to do with the boulders? I want you to tell me what they are for."

"Darby, I have to confess, I lied to you earlier. The bread business is not lucrative at all. In fact, I make no money on bread."

"Is that so? Well then, where did you get all that silver?"

"Darby, each boulder that falls down the pit is filled with silver. One boulder contains enough silver for a year's worth of meatloaf sandwiches.

"Oh...really?"

"Yes. Other boulder hunters have come before you and asked the same questions, many you see here. They are just like you. They are here because they sought and discovered the truth. Congratulations, Darby, you are one of us now. You have earned your passage to live in the commune with us and never need to step foot in the boulder field again."

"But all I did was ask a couple questions. Anyone can do that."

"That is not the case, Darby. Now, I am willing to tell you a very well-kept secret. Do you want to hear it?"

Darby thought very hard and remembered Stan's advice. He wondered if Stan knew what was going on, but he would ask Stan about that later. Now that he had discovered the boulders were silver he needed to know more...

"Yes, I would like to hear your secret."

"Very well. First of all, most boulder hunters are always looking directly at the ground in front of them for boulders. They rarely raise their head to see very far in front of them, they seldom look from side to side, and almost never look behind them."

Darby thought about it and realized it was true. His crew was always focused directly on the earth in front of them. Every step was taken in the prospect of spotting the characteristic shiny glint. She continued...

"Many things happen while boulder hunters are looking at the ground, Darby. The entire boulder industry was developed right in those fields, among those hunters. Long ago I bought one boulder and used the silver within to pay many more hunters to find more boulders, and Warden to inspect them and manage the fields and the pit. The hunters needed food, so I also hired Chef to make loaf and Stan to raise cows. One of my sisters in the commune bakes the bread."

"Why do you make Stan feed the cows purple grass?"

"I see you have talked to Stan. Well, Darby, now that you know many of our secrets, I will be completely candid with you. Stan would certainly confiscate some of my silver if I allowed him to graze his cattle on regular, free grass. He would have plenty extra. To protect my silver I must require him to purchase my special purple grass seed. We have told everyone that purple grass is extra healthy, but it's the same as regular grass except for the color. You see, the people in our commune require very expensive clothes and shoes from distant lands. Tasty Peruvian goat's milk is our favorite dairy product, and shipping is very costly. Stan and Warden only require a small amount of silver - just enough to feed the boulder hunters and collect the boulders. This is the way it has always been, and it serves our purposes just fine. If the boulder hunters find too many boulders, we raise the price of purple grass seed, Stan is forced to raise the price of meat, and Chef must raise the price of meatloaf sandwiches. That is how we make sure the boulder hunters, Chef, and Stan do not steal any of my silver. It's a win-win-win situation."

"But why can't the boulder hunters simply use the silver in the boulders to buy expensive Peruvian goat's milk themselves? I'm sure it is very tasty."

"Oh sweet Darby, you've spent your whole life looking at boulders and not once did you suspect they were so valuable. I'm sorry, but the truth is that boulder hunter's heads are pointed permanently to the ground. They will never understand. You are the exception to the rule, and that is why you are with us now."

Darby was disappointed and ashamed. He realized he had spent his whole life looking at the ground finding boulders when he should have been asking questions the whole time. He should have asked these questions long before.

"There is so much fruit here, Mary, so much variety. It all looks delicious. You know, boulder hunters would certainly purchase these items for a very high price. They would find many more boulders for such wonderful things, and you would acquire much more silver. Why don't you sell just a few more things to them?"

"Darby, haven't you been listening? We have every material possession we could ever desire and silver for hundreds of generations, including the silver the boulder hunters have not yet unearthed. Don't you see? Keeping the boulder hunters looking at the ground is our only obligation. As long as they do so, we have nothing to worry about. Besides, we ought not force such incomprehensible things upon them. The boulder hunters live simple, active, fulfilling lives. How dare we deprive them of their valuable traditions? They wouldn't know what to do with themselves in this commune. Most of all, if they wanted a different life, all they need to do is look up once in a while, like you did."

"But you are telling me that all boulder hunters toil endlessly so you can live in this paradise. That is not fair."

"I am afraid not, but it is true. And now you get to live in paradise too. Won't you join us?"

Darby knew he must accept his invitation to the commune. It was not really an invitation at all. He knew too much. He knew Mary would not let him leave. He thought of Brutus and his crew in the fields. He couldn't bear it...all their arduous labor for nothing more than assuring a few folks special goat's milk and nice shoes. Most of all he was astounded at Mary's ignorance. Mary had no idea what dreams the boulder hunters had. They were thoughtful, intelligent people who deserved so much more. Yes, their heads were permanently fixed on the ground, but hers was fixed in the clouds. She had no idea what wonderful things they could build if given even a small portion of what they truly earned.

"Mary, I will live in your commune, but you must do something for me. You must pay three silver pieces for every boulder over 100 pounds and 4 pieces for every boulder over 150 pounds. You also must sell some of your apples to Stan so he can sell them to Chef to offer them to the boulder hunting community. I do not ask for much, but I can't bear the thought of abandoning my friends completely, even if it is a token. I can accept nothing less than this."

"You are quite a negotiator, Darby. Follow me."

Darby followed Mary through the beautiful trees and beside the wildflowers and pomegranates. He marveled at the beautiful artwork etched into the stone of the brick path. He listened to the rushing water from the stream that meandered through the grove. Birds sang and there was constant chatter and laughter from the people of the commune. She guided Darby into a door and down a long hallway. They sat at a fabulous wooden table with candles all around.

"Darby, you are a very special boulder hunter. You have asked many questions and you are a capable and well-meaning negotiator. You have sound judgment. I would like you to be king of my commune. You will be responsible for leading all gaming activities and ensuring the acquisition of Peruvian goat's milk. This is a very important position, Darby. Do you accept."

"I can only accept if you offer the boulder hunters my demands."

"Darby, you know I cannot do that. It is not in the interest of this commune or any member therein. Too many boulder hunters have been asking questions. If they suddenly see that we can afford to pay three pieces they will start asking too many questions. You must realize the opportunity you have, Darby. You are not a boulder hunter any more. You are king of this commune. Follow me."

Darby recognized that Mary had reason to be afraid of the boulder hunters' questions. They had reason and numbers to rise up and destroy her and the commune. But Darby knew the boulder hunters were peaceful and would never even consider such a thing...it simply wasn't in them. He wondered how he could prove this to Mary.

Mary led Darby through another hallway and into another room with beautiful artwork on all of the walls. There were statues and fine wood carvings everywhere. Several women in white robes stood on either side to greet him.

"Darby, this is your council. These women are here to help you serve in any way you desire. They will tend to the fruit pickers. They will manage the pile of silver. They will do anything you ask, Darby. Anything at all."

Darby looked at the women around him. They were stunningly beautiful. He had hardly seen a woman all of his life. Boulder hunters are mostly men, and the few women around the boulder fields are married to Warden and his friends. They each greeted Darby individually and Darby was enchanted by them. He closed his eyes and thought very hard...he thought about all of the boulder hunters. He became angry.

"No, no, NO, Mary. You must. You MUST give the boulder hunters at least one more silver piece per boulder and access to apples. If you do not, I refuse your offer and will not be king. Just one silver piece more and I am yours."

"You are wise, Darby. You know your potential. You are loyal and compassionate. It only proves you must be king. Please follow me."

Darby followed Mary through the group of women and into another dark hallway. He was shocked by what he had seen and was very agitated. He wanted to escape. If he could only vanish and return to the boulder field. He stood in a small, dark, round room next to Mary.

"Darby, you are the most admirable and intelligent boulder hunter I have ever met. I have one more secret to share with you. Would you like to hear it?"

"Yes, Mary, I would."

"Warden says that you asked him what was at the bottom of the boulder pit. Would you still like to know?"

Darby looked down for a moment and saw, to his surprise, an orange pebble. An orange pebble in the same shape as the one he had thrown down the boulder pit earlier. He knew a large rock could crush him at any moment.

"Mary, I am standing at the bottom of the boulder pit right now."

Mary paused and looked at Darby with astonishment. No such boulder hunter had ever known his fate. She couldn't imagine how Darby had. She froze.

"I know that at any moment a boulder could strike me and kill me instantly. I am not afraid."

Mary said nothing, but watched in horror, knowing he had only moments to move.

"I was not afraid when I asked Brutus what the boulders were for. I was not afraid when I asked Warden what was at the bottom of the pit, or where Chef purchased his ingredients, or why Stan fed his cows purple grass. I was not afraid when I asked you why you needed boulders or why you can't sell your Peruvian goat's milk. You have shown me the awful truth, but it is better than living with my head towards the ground like I did all those years. Every question bears the burden of risk, and I have chosen to accept it. Right now that burden requires me to stand at the bottom of this ridiculously deep boulder pit to demonstrate another truth...that I'm better off a pile of bones on the ground than a prisoner in this comu..."

THUD!

The next day Mary began offering 3 pieces of silver per boulder, and charged 1 silver piece per apple.

The boulder hunters began asking questions.