Saturday, August 23, 2008

Triangle Republic

It was called the Triangle Republic because it sat atop an enormous triangular plateau with steep cliffs on all sides. Although the nation claimed the entire plateau, it was actually a mobile one, traveling in one giant herd from one side to the next.

At the midpoint of each of the three natural borders grew a large grove of Yang trees bearing delicious Yangs. Being their favorite food, the Trianglicans were always on a caravan towards one of these three groves. When all of the Yangs were consumed they would turn to begin their long voyage to the next side, where another Yang grove was waiting for them.

There were four types of Trianglicans
  • The Mutes looked like big walking eyes. They could not hear or speak, but could see really well.
  • The Screamers were like big walking mouths. They could not hear or see, but could scream, especially when hungry for Yangs.
  • The Pushers were like big walking ears with arms. They could not see or scream, but could hear and push.
  • The Giants were like huge, well, giants. They could not hear, see, or scream, but were tall enough to reach fruit on even the highest branches of the Yang tree.
The herd of Trianglicans always traveled in a straight path towards the cliff's edge. All along their arduous journey to the next edge they would survive on Yang trees they found along the way. To acquire the Yangs, individuals in the herd worked together...

The Mutes, being the only ones who could see the valuable trees, would find a Screamer and tie him to a Yang tree. Before long, the Screamer would begin screaming. Hearing this, the Pushers would push a Giant towards the tree. The Giant, upon bumping up against the trunk, would instinctively reach up and pick the Yangs to eat. While the Giant did this, some Yangs would always drop for the Mutes and Pushers to salvage. When all the ripe Yangs had been picked, the Mutes would untie the screamers, and feed them bits of Yang along the way to keep them from screaming. When the Giant was full, he resumed his walk in the same direction as the rest of the herd.

The only trait shared by all in the herd was the ability to travel in exactly the same direction.

The problems always began as the herd approached a cliff. You see, there wasn't actually a grove of Yangs there, only a sheer drop-off of several thousand feet. The Mutes, who usually traveled up front, would see the impending doom. They would look back and wonder how to change the direction of the herd. After all, the only productive Yang trees required a 300 degree left turn!

This was an unfamiliar dilemma for the Mutes. A cliff was scarcely encountered, perhaps only once every few generations.

On this particular occasion, the Mutes tried everything they could to warn the herd. They tried screaming, which resulted in a pathetic "mrrr" from their clenched eyelid. Then they tried pushing. No use. They were tiny compared to the Pushers, not to mention the Giants who got dangerously close to stepping on them. Some Mutes even decided to run around like lunatics flailing their little arms, which was least effective of all.

As the herd plodded forward the Mutes became increasingly terrified. These poor souls could not scream, push, or pick. They feared they could do nothing but watch the others drop helplessly over the side! They needed to somehow rescue their friends in the herd...and not just for their own good. The Mute's knew they would starve without them.

There was only one tiny shred of hope. They all knew that this predicament must have happened before, and the Mutes had definitely found some way out of it. They wouldn't be alive if they hadn't. But how had their predecessors done it?

Perilously close the the cliff, the Mutes decided to try something completely unheard of and very risky. They tied a Screamer to a Giant and then they tied several more to the same Giant. Then, deprived of Yang pieces, the Screamers began screaming and the Pushers began pushing the Giants toward one another. Once the Giants met, each would grasp wildly into the air. Not finding Yangs, they became angry, even furious, and became ensnared in their own limbs. Soon, over half of the Screamers, Pushers, and Giants were bound in a collective entanglement of legs, arms, mouths, and ears. Some Screamers and Pushers were crushed. But, the tangled mess effectively hindered their progress towards the cliff...if only for a while.

By this point the ominous sound of screaming could be heard off in the distance as the Screamers not tied to Giants began falling over the side. The dreadful sound was followed by a thud as the Pushers instinctively shoved the untangled Giants toward the screaming and thus over the cliff. Each Pusher would be left teetering on the edge of the cliff, then turn to find another Giant to push. Pushers had very short memories, especially with all the screaming, which had become a distracting temptation for all Pushers.

There was no warning at all for these poor Giants and the Mutes were horrified to watch. They only knew the entanglement was doing some good, and considered it their only hope while they pondered possible solutions. Time was short. They knew that soon thousands of Screamers would fall over the side greatly tempting the Pushers to shove all the Giants to their death. Disaster was imminent.

Then one Mute had an idea. Way off in the distance opposite the cliff sat a lone Yang tree that would point the herd directly toward the opposite cliff and towards decades of safety. It was so far away that most other Mutes had dismissed it. Determined, this Mute dragged as many Screamers as possible to the Yang. He tied them up, deprived them of Yang, and the screaming began. But, as the other Mutes had predicted, it was simply too far away. The Pushers with even the biggest ears couldn't hear them. Seeing this, the Mutes grew restless and jumped up and down. There was much blinking.

But this particular Mute had no time to lose. While the others jumped and blinked, he returned to the cliff's edge and diverted more doomed Screamers to the distant Yang tree. In an unheard of fashion he tied the Screamers to one another forming a long chain. Once tied, they instinctively walked toward the cliff. In this way the row stretched out a long distance toward the entanglement.

The Mutes saw this and some were encouraged. A few began to help tie the Screamers to the end of the chain. But not all were so optimistic. In fact, most of the Mutes sat and drooped their eyelids in despair. Even with the long chain, they knew the plan would fail. The entanglement was moving too fast and they knew the Pushers couldn't really hear all that well, much less identify which screamers would lead them to safety and which ones to death. They began to despair.

"Oh, how hopeless is a Mute's life." they thought. "If only we had mouths to scream or arms to push. If only we were big and strong like the Giants. If only we had one of these things, we could save all of our fellow Trianglicans. But, alas, we are all doomed to watch as they careen over the side. Oh, the horror."

Conditions deteriorated. With all the screaming, falling, crushing, and flailing going on, the Mutes felt dejected. The chain grew very close, but its screamers were drowned out by those falling off the side.

You would think that the massive amount of screaming would be a warning to the Pushers and Giants, but no. They could only think about acquiring those delicious Yangs. This shocked the Mutes who were now frantically dragging Screamers from the edge.

These conditions continued to make the Mutes very sad. So sad, in fact, that they began crying. As they dragged their Screamers to the chain, tears welled in their large eyes and fell onto the ground. At first this had a beneficial effect, moistening the dusty path. The dirty air became clean, and they were no longer required to squint as they dragged the sometimes uncooperative Screamers. But, as the dust cleared from the air the increased visibility also allowed them to easily observe the awful sight at the cliff's edge. More tears befell the path and before long the Mutes found themselves trudging through thick, slippery muck.

Navigating the terrain became a challenge. The Mutes, already top-heavy with their tiny legs, began slipping and falling all along the muddy path. One Mute would try to help another and both would topple, each losing his Screamer. Many rolled back and forth, but could not get back on their feet. So sad was this that the stream of tears became a torrent. Before long the whole area was a vast swamp with half-sunken Mutes scattered about. Those who were stuck were helpless, waving their tiny arms in the air for help. Those who watched from dry ground did not dare enter the swamp. All seemed lost.

Then, to the disbelief of all the Mutes, the head of one particularly tall Giant was spotted moving away from the cliff, in the opposite direction of all the others. All the Mutes scurried to the highest ground that they could find. Sure enough, a lone Pusher anguished beneath, straining to push this whole Giant all by himself. Squinting eyes caked in mud became wide with astonishment. Everyone knew this was impossible. Such a thing had never been done. Everyone knew it took three Pushers to even nudge a Giant. But somehow this Pusher was doing it, right in front of the Mutes' weary eyes. He seemed to be the only Pusher who could hear the distant chain of Screamers.

Seeing this the Mutes' eyes were instantly dried. They looked at each other and suddenly realized there was still hope, and serious, unpleasant work to be done. They knew they had to innovate. They frantically increased the chain of Screamers until they dangled all the way off the edge of the cliff. One after another, as expected, the Pushers pushed Giants over this one point, creating a deep rut in the earth. The rut over the edge of the cliff became a waterfall, draining the lake of tears that had accumulated. Then, the Mutes who had almost drowned stood up and joined the others. They helped pull the dangling screamers back to safety. Not one more Giant than necessary would be pushed off the side. The end of the chain was brought back and tied to a spot mid-way between the Yang and the cliff. Soon they saw two Pushers pushing another Giant away from the cliff and toward the end of the chain. It was working!

But, the remainder of the herd was nearing the cliff faster than ever. Hundreds of Screamers were plummeting over the edge. Hundreds of Giants followed shortly thereafter. Worse, the inclination to move in the same direction was so fierce that even the tangled Giants continued to amble toward the cliff, even the ones almost completely restrained among one another. The whole entanglement itself began slipping over the edge!

All the Mutes watched in horror as the enormous conglomeration began to fall over the side! The Screamers were so hungry and just couldn't help but scream. The Pushers simply couldn't resist the Screaming and pushed with all their might. The Giants were now completely helpless. It slid slowly, folding off the edge like a pancake. Giants, Screamers, and Pushers all held tightly to one another for dear life. There, hanging in mid air, they now discovered, without a doubt, that something was terribly wrong.

Having assembled and chained the last of the available Screamers, the Mutes could only watch as the bulk of their beloved herd began escaping into oblivion. There was nothing more they could do but continue starving the chain of Screamers who were now bellowing ferociously. The sight was unbearable.

Then, miraculously, the sliding began to slow down. Something stalled the momentum and now about half of the entanglement hung over the side propped by the other half. The Mutes approached to assess the situation. To their amazement, they discovered something else they had never seen before. The pushers on the ground were pushing away from the cliff! They were Pulling!

Through great effort, all of the Pushers pulled together and began lifting the entire entanglement. Slowly but surely the entirety of the weight was being pulled, lifted from the great abyss.

But, by now the Giants already hanging off the side were so frustrated that their arms flailed in a desperate panic, which began breaking apart the entanglement. Seeing this the Mutes jumped and blinked and mrrred with indignation. If only they would just be still and allow the pulling Pushers to save them. But, this was not to be. Suddenly, the half already over the edge could be pulled no further. The bond broke at the cliff's edge and the doomed Screamers screamed in unison as they plummeted into free fall. Looking over the edge, the Mutes watched the Giants' wild arms flutter in a frenzy until each met their doom against the rocks below, joined by the poor Screamers and Pushers who had been at the front half of the entanglement.

The Pushers atop the cliff could now hear the chain of Screamers loud and clear. As such, they pulled the entanglement toward the lone Yang in the distance. Once there the Mutes carefully untied the Screamers and to the surprise of all, the Giants began walking slowly in the direction opposite the cliff! Seeing this the Mutes hopped up and down, blinked happily, and celebrated with a gleeful chorus of mrrr.

Then a period of mourning followed as the herd slowly moved away from the cliff. It was a tragedy of historical proportions. As far as a warning to pass into the future, the Mutes had some paper and pencils, but none knew how to write. And, passing the story down by word of mouth was also prohibitive for obvious reasons. But, to the relief of them all, the next cliff was generations away. For now, they could resume the roles they had grown to know and love. All citizens of the Triangle Republic who survived this great tragedy lived in peaceful harmony for the rest of their lives.

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