Congratulations!
You have noticed that one of my shoes is black and the other is brown. If your name is Ryan, I expected you might notice, being one to detect things of little or no significance. But, now that I have written this, there is some novel significance I hope you have enjoyed. You might be interested to know that I sometimes shift things around subtly when you are not looking just to see if you notice. Whether you notice or not, it is fun.
If you are a female, your observation is no doubt evidence of intense physical attraction. You were likely smitten at first with my large and bushy sideburns. Approving of my muscular chest and arms, you continued south. You were probably observing my crotch, considering the size of my trouser snake, when your eyes happened to catch my shoes. There is no need to be ashamed, as you were seduced by an impressive specimen of manliness indeed. I urge you to remain clothed for as long as possible in my presence, which I recognize may be a challenge.
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