Ego

I was accused of having a "high ego" today.

I suspect the accusation really means: "you don't yield to stupidity very well, and others find it offensive."

This came from an individual who I respect greatly, so I will take it as a compliment. The same gentleman has previously suggested I take a more powerful stance in meetings (in those certain cases where he understood the reasons and implications of my cause). I have been in the unfortunate position of being the voice of reason while faced with fierce opposition. At that time, without seniority or an impressive title, the only weapon I had was reason. I once assumed this was a boring, but safe and effective course, and that alternative influences could not derail it. When ignored and my ideas discounted, I assumed I was, myself, not capable of identifying reason.

Overcoming that persistent influence, that of self-doubt, took roughly 30 years of living, careful observation, and experience swimming in an ocean of well-intentioned incompetence and fear. I drastically underestimated the complexity of our condition. I found an attack with reason can only inflict damage on one's adversary from the inside. It cannot be forced upon them with an increased volume of voice any more effectively than through the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun. And, when you succeed, your adversary succeeds also, although in an excruciating way, as the enemy of reason is always driven to madness when forced to recognize it.

Why do it? This plight is masochistic. The wielder of reason does not grow stronger when a battle is won. He is simply hated to a greater degree...until the inevitable reputation, honor, and cash come to all of his adversaries. Then, he gets a pat on the head for his efforts...

Why? Why champion reason? What's the incentive?

Income? Nope. I personally get paid either way. In my case, the worse I do my job, the greater I am needed. The more our users are confused, the more demand there is for quality writing.

Reputation? Nope. I have almost none to protect. What I have would not stop me from abandoning reason altogether if, for example, unacceptable living conditions required it. I suspect some would abandon reason for much less...

Why does an employee do good work?

As an employer, do I trust someone who just wants a paycheck?

Do I trust someone who just wants a podium and a microphone?

No, I trust someone who wants to be the best damn [something] in the universe. And, I want to give that person the opportunity to succeed and take me with them. That's all. Is that so hard to understand?

I expect a successful employee to be given the information they need to become the best they can be, so that we can all benefit. If an employee's conclusions are incorrect because information has been withheld from them, this does not warrant a departure from reason. In such a case it is the employer's fault for not providing them the resources they need. Depriving an employee of the information they need to succeed is worse than paying them less than they have earned. A low-payed employee can quit. An misinformed employee can only damage himself and the ship. How can the best navigator find shore given an inaccurate map?

Even so, knowing the map is in error is the duty of the navigator. The employee who enjoys the freedom of reason knows that decisions cannot be made without information, and simply acquires this information as a matter of course. It is not for show, but to get the damn job done. What can drive an individual to reach their potential, to succeed beyond all expectation, without an ego?

Perhaps by having an ego I believe in the quality of my work, and the justification for it. It is justification of the most valid kind. Money, fame, and power can easily drift from one person to another almost by accident. This fact makes these things of relatively small value, especially when they are so frequently in the hands of those who have not earned them. One who is comfortable with nothing less than improvement and excellence of them self, even in defiance of the judgment of others, is a person who can be trusted. How can excellence by our own definition exist without reason. Is not reason apparent enough? Please tell me how I can be excellent without reason and save me the damn trouble!

If by having a "high ego" I am criticized for believing in myself and my cause, and going forward with confidence, I am guilty as charged. The only difference between me and the more established individuals with whom I wrestle is that I am not afraid to recognize the value of my work and know that I did the best I could given the information I had. Why should someone be ashamed for doing this, even if it results in total failure? But, with confidence, trust, information, reason, and the drive for self-improvement (aka ego), how can anything fail?

Humility? F*** it. I'll leave that to those with reason to be humble. If you are right, go down with all guns blazing. Don't let the foot of ignorance slowly crush your face against the floor for the rest of your life.

Ya know, do me and everyone a favor. Tell an idiot to go f*** themselves today. Don't use those words. Rather, just show them precisely why they are an idiot in the most delightful and gracious way possible with irrefutable evidence.

You'll be glad you did.