Old Man Marley

Old man Marley's love for his family and friends was complete, so much so, that even the ravages of terminal cancer could not begin to afflict his very large, 99-year-old heart. In fact, it only strengthened it, as could perhaps be evidenced by the following correspondence with his daughter, Angelica, in the hospital:

"Father, you do look better this morning. I brought some flowers to help cheer you up."

"Thank you dear, but you shouldn't have. Really. You know I'll be dead by Friday, and there is no need to pretend 'cheer' is something I seek or am capable of. If your fantasy involves delivering me some glimmer of deluded hopefulness, you don't need my help. Believe whatever you want, but hear this: extorting my emotions to satisfy your conscience doesn't look good in God's eyes or mine. You'll be joining me in hell soon enough."

"Father, see? I have placed them in a vase on the window sill. Don't they look beautiful?"

"Darling, have I ever told you what a stupid wench you are? If you're after some inheritance, you can forget about it. You've always been a greedy, wicked, scheming whore, and you're getting the same as the other children. NOTHING!"

"Oh, father, look at the way the light hits the pedals. I think they make a lovely addition to your little bunk house here."

"And you're ugly! No wonder no one wanted to marry you. You're preposterously disgusting to look at, in your...white blouse...and...stupid...skirt. What are you, on your way to the circus?"

[Angelica pours some water into the vase]

"Angelica, you were a horrible accident. I never should have raped your mother. You see, I was on some very hard drugs back then..."

"I am having a very special brunch delivered this morning. It's your very favorite from the pancake house."

"Couldn't cook it yourself, huh? Figures. Eh, no loss I guess. You never were a very good cook, despite the superficial complements. Hey, ya know those little things you make every holiday? I'll tell you the truth. No one likes 'em. Oh sure, they shower you with compliments and say how much they look forward to them, but they are actually choking them down just to humor you. Ya know what, Angelica? We all pity you for being so worthless...for being so pathetic. That's why we pretend to like your crappy little cupcake things. That's just the way it is."

"See, father, here is a picture of all your great grandchildren together. Can you believe you have so many of them? Aren't they just adorable?"

"Little rats, all of them, like you were. Have I ever told you that you have disappointed your mother and I in every possible way a child can disappoint a parent? Before I die I thought you should know that. In fact, I've already hung around so long just to make your life as miserable as mine has been on your account, and you're not going to get rid of me easily, either. Who knows, you might still have to suffer weeks of me, even months!"

"Father, unlike the others, I'm afraid I cannot be persuaded to wish for your death."

"Bullshit. And you think you're so smart. You always did have an air of condescension in your voice. You never could get over yourself, could you?"

"This is very difficult..."

"Could you?"

"Go to hell father."

"That's my girl. I'll see you there."