You job will be to:
1. Know what needs to be written and how to write it.
2. Explain the facts directly surrounding the obvious solution to management. (Crucial: Pretend you have NOT put it all together!)
3. Watch the executive ponder for a while.
4. Observe the wheels turning.
5. Listen to first misguided suggestion.
6. Explain why a square cube cannot fit in a round hole.
7. Repeat steps 5-6 for all incorrect solutions.
8. See the executive's eyes brighten.
9. Brace yourself as you are about to lose another piece of your soul.
10. Listen to the executive's "brilliant" idea.
11. Nod and agree. Repeat the following: "That's brilliant, wish I had thought of that. I guess that's why they pay you the big bucks."
12. Write what needs to be written and how you need to write it.
13. Watch the CEO hold up the product and give the executive credit. Then, watch the executive nod.
13 (#2). Drink heavily.
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2 comments:
My aspirations have taken a sudden turn. I never knew I had all of the skills to be an Editor. Well, I don't really have #1, but that's just bonus, right?
Yes, #1 is not required precisely. All you need is some absolutely bulletproof solution that is obvious and irrefutable to anyone with two non-dueling brain cells. If you can do the rest you will make the big time, as an editor, a middle manager, or about any other god-damned position of employment on the planet. Making stupid rich people appear smart and important *IS* the world's most lucrative business, and, of course, the key to happiness. [insert glint from left eye with friendly smile]
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