Wisconsin law bans sex with dead bodies

Party's over.

No more quick jaunts over the border to find a decent corpse brothel. I'm afraid the days of easy coffin love are over, my friends.

But, with each end comes a new beginning. Now that the whoring of corpses is more difficult in our neighbor state, we might consider the black market opportunity here in our great state of Minnesota. Consider all the folks from the Twin Cities that previously drove to Hudson for their piece of recently deceased ass. The incentive is gone. No doubt about it. Sex with dead bodies is now equally illegal in both our great states! This is really good news for us at Six Feet Underground Inc.

In a recent study, "fear of prison" was the primary factor preventing Minnesotans from digging up graves in-state. Now, those seeking Morticia will exploit local resources, undoubtedly creating a boom for the previously non-existent necro-services industry. With an entrepreneurial spirit and a few cold calls, we might even attract Badger clientèle as well. This is an exciting time.

Recent media coverage has been excellent for business. We are surprised how few unintentionally celibate men had never considered the possibility.

"I just saw it on the news. Sex with a corpse...can you really do that?"

For $1200 and your name on the dotted line she's all yours. After that, it's between you, Stiff Sally, and the Dark One.

"But this just doesn't seem right."

We get that one all the time. Check it out...Criminal investigators dunk the heads of corpses in boiling water to remove the flesh all the time (haven't you seen CSI?). Morticians mangle internal organs as a matter of course. I put it to you...what possible harm can come from necrophilia? If she doesn't mind getting her head boiled, she certainly doesn't mind a little lovin. It's the fam we are protecting. If you're going to do it anyway, we might as well make sure Maw and Paw never hear about it.

We are really looking forward to some government program: "Corpse Control" or a "War on Necrophilia" would be ideal. That will really help get the word out. Once people hear this sort of thing is popular enough to establish a real law, it sparks curiosity, you know..."I never really thought about doing that - what do they know that I don't?" Well, now you know how to find out...

Dudes, when your short on cash and have absolutely no chance with a live one, consider the flip side.

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