The Real Green Revolution

It's unfortunate potheads are always stoned.

The ones I know are some of the most intelligent and interesting folks I've ever met. Excuse me for referring to them collectively, but I have noticed a correlation in behavior that I believe warrants discussion given our turbulent political environment.

If there was a viable political candidate who strongly endorsed the legalization of marijuana, would the collective pothead's ass ascend from the bean bag long enough to cast a ballot?

Probably not. Why? I have reason to believe it isn't straight up laziness.

I don't know this guy personally...but if I did...he's one of the most entrepreneurial guys I know. Legend reports a dense jungle of green bud overflowing his humble residence; an indoor rain forest of KB.

This isn't just a few house plants...this is an irrigated hydroponic laboratory with thousands of dollars of lighting equipment, according to the myth. As a homebrewer I have the highest regard for someone so fiercely dedicated to their hobby. He doesn't sell. He uses it in the privacy his own home. No harm done. Right?

Wrong.

Between meticulously sprinkling water on Goliath The Green Giant and puffing on one of his lush appendages, I'm afraid our accomplished horticulturist simply doesn't have time to defend his hobby with his vote, or, even mild concern about the presidential candidate who is thumping for stoner rights. This gentleman is doing everything in his power to end the war on drugs, legalize our hero's prized plumage, and liberate all who choose to partake in their dragon's share.

This candidate won 16% in the Minnesota Republican caucus straw poll.

Where was our hero when we needed him most? Not present. For that matter, where are the parading anti-establishment peaceniks from the 60s when you really need them? I don't see the tie died shirts at the rallies. I didn't detect the slightest floral waft from the packed Northrup auditorium on February 4th.

Has pot transformed from a symbol of liberation and peaceful protest to an opponent of civil dissent? Is pot now acting on behalf of the establishment, giving them free reign to perpetuate any crime against the Constitution among a green public haze of complacency?

I want to see a pot smoker's march on Washington, and although I don't partake myself, I will happily help organize such an event. Rise my half-baked friends and conquer the beast that insists you purchase your dime from Timmy on the high school tennis courts. The future is yours, all you have to do it take it.

May a green cloud descend on our capitol my friends. The revolution is in your hands.