Encouraging Irresponsibility through Children's Literature

There is something magical about authoring picture books for children.

• Your primary audience has not learned critical thinking skills.
  
• There are little or no expectations of comprehension.
  
• Illustrations easily override the text as the primary storytelling mechanism.
  
• Expectations from parents are minimal, and constitute virtually any volume capable of capturing a child's interest.
  
• Any message transmitted in the book, no matter how irresponsible, will likely be perceived to be harmless at worst, and quite possibly charming.
  

These are very good reasons for someone with limited writing skills to consider authoring a story for children. And, there are many additional incentives that can prompt an individual with absolutely no aptitude for writing to choose this genre.

• Personal experience. We have all been children at one time,
• An inner child. In-tune with childlike sensibilities including: capriciousness, entitlement, megalomania, carelessness, thoughtlessness, and irrationality.
• Distance from reality. A levity of mind that prevents any exposure to the real world offers a wealth of possibilities. While baseless and irrelevant, the sky is the limit.
  

In this environment, it is quite tempting to exploit the very large demand for meaningless entertainment, particularly if that entertainment encourages what parents and children already desire (see above for examples). Do we need to wonder why lazy authors turn to writing children's books? What other genre enthusiastically encourages the reduction of humanity into a specimen capable of defecation (see Everyone Poops). Does this fact of nature require abstraction to properly understand? Is there any possible way a child might be inspired or enlightened by being convinced that pooping is an achievement or communal animal rite rather than a mundane and necessary bodily function? Might I remind children everywhere that pedophiles, psychopaths, and puppy killers also poop regularly. That does NOT mean you are like them in any relevant sense.

For products of human metabolism, we are left with a limited number of options. The products of human intellect, on the other hand, are virtually limitless. Let us at least attempt to improve upon the former.

Without listing specifics, I will summarize by saying that my professional exploration of the children's book market has yielded unexpected and sad results. While I might rejoice upon identifying the banal and disappointing competition, I can't help but lament for the kids. For every thoughtful, well-constructed, illuminating tale there are ten stories about escaping responsibility by blaming fairies or somehow excusing self-destructive behavior. And, nothing says "indoctrination" like a heartwarming McCain or Obama biographical tale. Big money there, I'm sure.

In conclusion, books can't make a child any more stupid than they already are. But, it can explain to precocious children reasons not to accept responsibility, try their hardest, think too much, or exert effort in constructive ways. Although, I must admit, I do feel dumber after leaving the picture book section at the friendly neighborhood bookstore. Ug.