Change

The dollar went into the machine and delivered four tokens, which were immediately consumed by Mrs. Pac-Man, that voracious pebble-munching she-bitch. We were kids then, in the early 80s, and our parents worked multiple jobs so that we could navigate her insatiable appetite over thousands of little golden rounds over at Chuck-E-Cheese's place once a year on our birthday. Looking back I imagine the inventors of that God-forsaken game, giggling in some office park over the irony - that children will gleefully consume as many little gold pieces as possible while they are themselves being robbed of their own future prosperity for the sake of a few moments of futile bliss, gobbling down their inheritance with every pac. Yes, a smile for a dime is emotional extortion, but good for the economy as any leading economist will tell you. These days we need to think about what's best for the economy. If the most direct way to a parent's wallet is through their children's smile, it is in our shareholders best interest for us to be the source of that damn smile. After all, the law prohibits us from acting outside the interest of our shareholders. If only we could somehow all work together we could really make a difference. If only we could all just agree, then we could combine the industrial strength of all nations to our cause. But, we can't actually tell anyone we're in the brainwashing business. It's bad for PR, as everyone on the board of directors will tell you. So, let's find some global catastrophy to piggyback on...how about good 'ol global warming! Yes, and then we claim moral authority by scrorning parents for drinking from foam cups, and then pull out from the foam cup business. Delightful. Then, not only will we look like the good guys, but we'll have more of their money to invest in doping their kids with pseudo-medicine or special baby food or whatever the hell we need to do to swing their mood from one extreme to the other. How else are we going to turn these kids into profit machines? How else are we going to get any real change around here?