The Shift

When something extraordinary happens-something that affects all of us in some way-we tend to remember where we were and what we were doing. Maybe we remember where we were going or what we were eating. Maybe we even remember what we were wearing, driving, or what kind of coffee we were brewing. We can assume everyone we know remembers one or more of these things at that specific time, and, since we all have this moment in history securely fastened in our brains, we refer to it as our "collective memory."

I remember where I was the day it happened. I was standing in line at the grocery store with a basket full of pita chips, a container of sliced fruit, and some sushi; unagi, shake, maguro, and a few spring rolls. I had stopped on my way home from work to pick up dinner. It was a day like any other, and I was anxious to get home to watch my favorite show...

The line was taking forever. At first I noticed the cashier seemed a bit too relaxed, and decided to distract myself by perusing the cover of Newsweek. It was more of the same...news on the global economic crisis. "Ug," I thought. As if I needed more bad news. I looked at the other lines. They were just as long, and there were plenty of folks behind me. No escape. I was trapped, a caged animal with raw fish that was not getting any younger and a television program that would not wait for me. I decided it may be time to break down and buy that DVR.

Waiting...

I observed the wall behind the checkout lanes. There were several clocks placed prominently high on the wall at the front of the store. Each was set to display the time in a different city from around the world. It was meant to be stylish, I guess, giving a nod to other distinguished time zones on our planet. They always bothered me...even when I zipped through the place. While the time in Brussels may be pertinent to the Belgian tourist on his way to the airport, to me, it was just another way to complicate the most simple courtesy of clearly displaying the time. I thought about dressing as a clock repair man and setting each clock to local time. I was beginning to have too much time on my hands.

The minutes passed, and I looked up to discover the girl behind the counter swipe the same card again. The old woman in front of me insisted it was valid. Finally, she bristled, pulled another credit card from he purse, and handed it to the young cashier. She swiped and waited, then asked the bag boy to retrieve the manager. Apparently there was something wrong with the machine. I checked my pockets for cash...none. I did have a check book, and looked around for the classic "Sorry, we do not accept checks." Not seeing this, I assumed I could get out of this mess without switching to a different line if the credit card swiper thing was busted in this aisle. I was next in line. I would tough it out...

Finally, the manager approached the cashier, and took her aside. I tried to hear what she said, but it was whispered into her ear. At that moment I suspected something unusual was going on. I looked around. The same folks were standing in all the checkout lanes. It was as if every credit card swiping machine in the store had broken down at once. Some grew restless and ditched their lanes in frustration, hastily walking out the door. Others started complaining, informing us of important facts, such as "we don't have all day." Some just dropped a couple $20s on the conveyor and walked out with their food. I thought about filling out a check and dropping it on the conveyor, but a check isn't quite the same as cash. Besides, I was curious...

Finally, a voice blasted on the store's intercom. "All staff to aisle 5. All staff to aisle 5." This was getting interesting. Now I had to wait to see what was going on. Every store employee was soon gathered in the adjacent aisle. I still couldn't hear what was going on, but there were some concerned expressions. More people were abandoning their efforts and leaving the store. I picked up a copy of Newsweek and began flipping through pages. I decided I was going to purchase my sushi if I had to stand there all night. I figured I may get a discount or a voucher or something for the inconvenience.

One guy yelled: "Hey can those of us with cash get checked out already?" A voice called out from the gathering: "We'll be right with you!"

Suddenly, one of the employees tried to walk away from the crowd. An older gentleman who looked like the manager hurried after her and escorted her back to the group. They all stood there a long time. Then, I noticed what they were doing. They were huddled around an iPhone, watching something.

I looked around and saw that others were also looking at their phones. A chorus of various rings echoed through the store, and before long everyone seemed to be chatting on their phones.

One guy shouted: "Does that TV work?" An employee turned it on. "Channel 11, in 2 minutes."

I looked at the screen and a surreal feeling fell upon me. It was the mysterious pattern of the Emergency Broadcast System. Suddenly, a sense of dread filled my veins and I imagined the possibilities. Had we experienced another terrorist attack? Did a dirty bomb go off somewhere? Even on 911 there was nothing quite like this...the screen was motionless. There was no news coverage or anything but the ominous pattern on every channel. Some folks started complaining about Internet access on their iPhones.

What the hell was happening?

I was startled by the intercom system, which blasted again: "Attention all customers and staff. You are invited to the front of the store to view a message from our President."

Silence...

"The President of the United States."

Well, it looked like a DVR would not have helped after all. The store was eerily quiet as we waited for the announcement. Suddenly, the screen flipped to a scene in what appeared to be the Oval Office. The President was being counciled by some other guy in a suit. The camera zoomed in and he began to speak.

"My fellow citizens, I address you this evening candidly, from a secure location furnished to resemble the Oval Office. As your President I have the solemn task of delivering very unfortunate news. What you are about to hear will sound troubling...it will sound shocking. And, as such, I begin by reminding you that the true test of any nation comes not in times of prosperity, but in times of challenge. History is not shy to remind us that only by staring into the face of tragedy can the power of liberty and justice be fully revealed. We know that when all else has failed us, those unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness remain in defiance of the forces that attempt to destroy them. We hold these truths not because they are convenient, or easily won, but in honor of the men who have died in their defense. We hold onto them because we, the living, accept nothing less for ourselves and our children, and know that individuals of courage will accept the responsibility of defending them again.

Founded to protect these principles our republic has endured persistent attacks aimed at their destruction for the sake of lesser goals. We have faced enemies across oceans and within our government buildings. We have suffered the blight of those who benefit from terror and hysteria, and silently experienced the invisible influences of corruption. We have looked the other way as individuals use our government as a tool to perpetuate crimes our government was instituted to prevent. On behalf of the flag that flies over Washington as a symbol of universal liberty we have watched the wealth of our unborn children grandchildren fuel the short-term goals of investors. We have watched both political parties extort our hard-earned wealth in the form of bailouts that pretend to legitimize pieces of paper that symbolize the effective collaboration of labor and capital. We now understand the hard-learned lesson that a corporation dependent on the unwilling charity of its customers is not just wasteful, but destructive to freedom and opposed to justice. It is equivalent to stealing. Having awakened from the errors of the past, we now walk amongst the ashes and wonder how we have forgotten the lessons learned at so dear a price.

We have sacraficed justice of all to secure wealth for a few. We have sacraficed liberty of all for the sake of security, and to secure wealth for those few. And now, these few ask us to expend more liberty and more justice, while assuring us economic and military security. As long as we trade liberty and justice for the wealth of the few, more will enter the business of extorting this wealth from us all. Left to their devices we will all be slaves, and we will not have the security we so desperately sought, but complete vulnerability to those few willing to protect themselves at our expense.

My fellow Americans, as a result of these crimes, our monetary system has collapsed. The value of our dollar is now less than the paper on which it is printed. I urge you to remain calm. The cause for this is almost a century of systematic violations of principles outlined in our Constitution by private, influential individuals from around the globe. Government personal, through ignorance, blackmail, and willing collaboration with these individuals, is also responsible for this failure. All commerce within our country has been suspended while our economic advisers meet to discuss possible solutions. All military personal stationed overseas have been disbanded, and only a skeleton force remains to protect our borders. All federal government employees have been laid-off, and most federal government departments have been dissolved, including the IRS. All willing have been invited to keep the government functional on a volunteer basis. We are depending on these individuals for basic government services. Please be confident that these actions were taken not to harm our country, but were necessary to ensure its survival. A country that protects the ends of its greatness with the exploitation of the means to that greatness cannot stand. We choose, as a country, to stand, and demand to do so peacefully. Not one human being needs to suffer death as a result of this transition. Indeed, life it its primary purpose. We wage a war on war by choosing not to fight against ourselves, but accepting a dedication to truth, justice, and liberty for all.

A country that departs from the principles that make it great ceases to be a great country. Therefore, now, with sound conscience, I come to you in defense of these principles. I appeal to you, the citizens of the United States, to ask you to be stewards of those ideas we have inherited from our forefathers...those so eloquently written in our constitution. For in these times, our principles must be the last thing we sacrifice, and not the first. If we let go of these things, no amount of effort will secure them in our grasp...

A sophisticated Internet-based trade and barter system will be implemented for access to food and other necessities. You may use this system to trade for your requirements, as the government does not have the resources to facilitate these necessities. No government of the people can compel charity, and therefore our government is depending on your good will and ingenuity.

We, as a nation, have endured great challenges before, beginning with the deadly winter at Valley Forge, continuing through the bitter years of slavery, enduring through a bloody Civil War, suffering two world wars and the Great Depression. In these difficult times you must remember that you are surrounded by individuals of the highest integrity, as you will be counting on them to persevere. Remember that you always have...that your government has always been made of individuals, and that the preservation of our great nation has always and will always rest on the people's shoulders.

I am reminded of the words so eloquently penned by Francis Scott Key: "The rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there." Today we watch that tattered flag illuminated so brightly in defiance of the errors in our recent past. We watch and wonder how a nation so brilliantly conceived could possibly slip from our fingers, and hope that when morning comes, that banner will yet wave for the land of the free and the home of the brave.

God bless you, and God bless the United States of America."

So, that was that. I stole the pita chips and sushi...walked out of the store and got in my car. There were no bread lines and no firearms discharged in the streets. That evening I started my barter account and traded some gas in my mower for some oil with the guy across the street. You know, we were taxed on just about everything we purchased back in those days, and worked 5 months out of the year just to pay the government. Who would have guessed we didn't actually need money after all. Anyway, that's my story of the Shift. I haven't stolen anything since.