The Seige

"I'm not going to kill you, but I don't have to save you." Remember that? That's what Batman said to Ducard before jumping from the train, letting it careen from the monorail. That seems pretty mean of Batman, to let his nemesis die, but look at the alternative. The point is, while being the good Samaritan to a stranger in need is admirable, we don't have an obligation to rescue someone who is actively trying to kill us.

This reminds me of the Aesop's fable: The Scorpion and the Frog. Remember, the scorpion stings the frog's back as the frog is carrying him across the river. Why? Because he's a scorpion. Why is he a scorpion? Why does he attack his precious flotation device? I don't know. Are you a scorpion? No, didn't think so. Well then, not being a scorpion, you would have no idea, would you? Don't you know that scorpions are raised to brood over the historical injustices caused by the frog community? Don't you know that scorpions will gladly martyr themselves, sink to a watery grave, so long as they take a frog with them? Or, maybe the scorpion thinks you're a toad, which makes you sinister to frog and scorpion alike. Are you a scorpion? No. Then, you can't assume a scorpion is smart enough to tell the difference between a frog and a toad. So, that's why we don't judge or make assumptions about scorpions. All we can do, as frogs, is leap away from them rather than invite them onto our backs as we cross rivers. And, that's why Batman doesn't save Ducard from the doomed train. Batman knows he will get stung...

So Aesop, a Greek slave, explained this in the 6th century BC, Aristotle and Plato read it in the 3rd century BC, and today Marvel profits heartily by repeating it to cheering movie goers who make livings drafting up sub prime mortgage loans and encouraging "economic stimulus" plans that our children will pay for long after our death. You have identified the hypocrisy too. You try to expose the scorpions for who they are. You think you have discovered the truth. Right now, to you, I am a scorpion...

Look, I didn't want to kidnap you, and I know you think I've broken some law or something. You "know your rights," and are obviously pleading the 5th, which is fine. I don't want you to talk. Don't bother struggling. You can't get out. The corpse hanging over there is fake. It's just a shock tactic. Don't believe me? Well, believe what you want. I only ask you to do one thing for me. Listen! HA! That, you say, is what got you into trouble in the first place. You listened, you learned too much, and now you think that I am the scorpion, interrogating you for information I don't understand...discoveries of which I could not possibly understand the significance...

I am a fly...a fly on the wall. I've been watching your work for a year. I know that you have designed an unlimited, cheep, clean, easily reproducible energy source. I know that in your pocket is a DVD that can solve the world's energy crisis. And, I know that right now there are people in suits anticipating your presentation on the 102nd floor downtown. I am a fly on their wall too. I know that this corporation is anxious to accept, develop, and sell your proposal.

But, I know something that you don't...

See this? Yes, you already know what this is. This one is based on your plans...a simple, portable fuel cell with a 120 volt outlet. You know it could one day power appliances, microwaves, computers. Congratulations, my boy, you've done it! It lasts months before it needs a recharge. You know that this means cheep, safe, clean energy for millions, and large profits for you, and especially the company that produces it. You know that before long these could be as common as toasters, improving the standard of living for all humanity. I'm sure this gives you a warm feeling in your heart. I know you are not doing it for the money. Well done, Ghandi, you've saved the world now, haven't you?

Well, I have some unfortunate news. Rather than tell you, I'll just show you. Let's see, plug this cord into the outlet and...whoa! Look at that! Yes, through that window is our sub-terrainian test facility. Yes, it's just a big fricking hanger and yes, it's carved out of bedrock. Your device is powering that hovercraft. You know this is possible. You know you have under-designed your fuel cell specifically to prevent this amount of power. And, you have suspected that no one else could possibly figure out the technology required to enhance it. I am afraid I have some bad news. This technology is not new...

I want you to think very carefully about the implications of your invention. I want you to think about the power you are proposing, and the accessibility. While your device will raise the living standard of billions, it will also place unprecedented power directly into the hands of modern-day barbarians, some desperate enough to be terrorists. Look, in order to understand why you have been kidnapped, you need to learn a bit of history...

I guess today is show-and-tell day, isn't it? See this? This is the original Antikythera Mechanism. It was designed and built around 150 BC, and it is basically an analog computer that calculates the position of the sun, moon, stars, and planets. They found a crude copy in a shipwreck off the island of Crete in 1901. Historians oogle over this like it's some key to ancient technological innovation. HA! They are looking at a fake...this, right here, is the original, and it has never left the security of our bunker. A thief stole the original plans and built a copy to offer to Pompey in Rome in around 63 BC. We had to sink that ship en route. We didn't know what other property was on that ship. Rome was simply not ready for that technology. Can you imagine ancient Rome with cannons, or even electricity? Things would have been reeeeal ugly...

I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can...we had electricity in biblical times. We had antibiotics during the Black Plague. We had nuclear power in the Renaissance. We have lived underground, in isolation from the rest of humanity, waiting for the right conditions to reveal all these things. I know that may sound a bit hard to swallow, but look at the unfortunate reality: The population of 100 BC was superstitious and paranoid. A light bulb proved nothing but divine ordinance. There were wars constantly and any threat to authority was violently suppressed. It was a hopeless cause, as fearful rulers sought total control over any technology they didn't understand. They feared that what they could not control would be used against them...sound familiar?

We tried to introduce the safe things, like basic sanitation, but they used lead pipes (against our advice). There was no end to their arrogance. We tried to reveal electricity, but the folks just used it to impress their friends and occupy terrified populations. Back then all you really needed to terrify a nation was a spark. Now, it takes a whole media industry. So, we've made a lot of progress. But, the history books have it all wrong. Real technological advancement wasn't the result of competition between waring nations and conflict...it was the result of our peaceful underground laboratories. We gave the technology to certain individuals who lived in stable societies like ours down below. We entrusted certain individuals who understood it, and who we felt would apply it responsibly. But, the conditions needed to be appropriate...

One big triumph was the United States. We needed a system that respected folks enough so that they could think about things other than revolution. So, as you know, we scattered the powers into three branches and a bunch of states. We didn't actually do it, but we told them how to do it (in our own way). Citizens could finally think about improving their own lives without aristocracy getting in the way too much. The Civil War was discouraging, but indicated that the country was serious about preserving liberty and justice (or that such an argument could be made in hindsight). So, we decided to drop clues about how to build internal combustion engines and distribute electricity. Back then, us flies would just chat about things to scientists, often over beer or cider. We would ramble something incoherent regarding a copper coil, or a curved wing. We found the most subtle hint could do wonders when directed into the right ear.

Anyway, we kind of screwed up. We overestimated a few folks, and so did others. While Americans seemed to be putting the technology to good use, the rest of the world was determined to act like ancient Rome. Paranoia, superstition, and fear caused all these guys to use our generous gifts to start killing each other. The 20th century was ugly. Then, America goes out and fixes things...twice. I wonder how that happened...

We had to reveal a lot to get things settled. The cat was really out of the bag with fission. We hunkered down and prepared for the worst, buried here a few miles underground. We were ashamed of ourselves for intervening as much as we did and figured we better let terrestrial science progress by itself for a while. After all, we have our own sunlight sub-terra...well, a nice big ball of fusion that does the same thing. And, while we would one day enjoy some time up top, we are perfectly happy in our cavern. Basically, the few of us down here are being held under siege, dependent upon our fusion reactor, hydroponic plant life and really good schools...

Which, brings me to our current scenario: You, my friend, are an anomaly. Despite the low pedestal of public education, the lull of mind-numbing television, the distraction of politics, the temptations of wealth, the superstitions of religion, and the yoke of your own pride and ego, you have somehow stumbled upon the truth. You are in a strange spot. Your mind is not yet fit to live free among us. But, for your world, you are way ahead of your time. By leaving you up on the crust I risk putting machine guns in the hands of ancient Roman soldiers.

Here's the thing...what you are proposing, while technologically available, is only morally justifiable in a peaceful society...one capable of using it to enhance life and not destroy it. You show me a nation that minds its own business, with a government that acts in the interest of only all its citizens rather than a select few. If this country can set an example and others follow...well, then, we'll let you go and deliver your unlimited, free, clean, safe energy machine to the billions who need it. People don't start wars...governments do. Until government is in check, we will not repeat the errors of the past...we will not give Nero an air force.

You a probably asking: "what kind of just civilization kidnaps people for unveiling a scientific discovery?" You would be correct in wondering this. In fact, I have done the one thing our community prohibits over anything else...inflicting power over another for his or her own good. But, just as you would not give a child matches and gasoline in a crowded playground, I must not give you freedom...not for the sake of yourself, but for the sake of the people who will be slaughtered in your wake. I restrain you with the same sense of concern felt while considering the disclosure of nuclear fission. With knowledge comes power, and with power comes responsibility. You did not think about the implications of your discovery. You did not consider its true benefit.

Now, you have two options. You can become a fly like me, and observe the crust for other anomalies, encouraging the survival of the species. (It's a difficult job, but you get to use a lot of cool toys.) Or, you can live in our little paradise down here, helping push science to new levels...you have a lot to learn either way. One thing is certain...going back to your old life is not an option. You know too much. None of us orphans can return to our families until civilization has been restored.

Basically, what I am saying is...I'm not going to kill you, and I'm not going to let you unintentionally kill yourself either by walking into that board room and welcoming that scorpion onto your back. Trust me, that would have been ugly. So, you are free to choose...I hope you will choose wisely. You wouldn't like to end up like that guy...