Here we go again

Once every three hundred and some days we find ourselves at that familiar point along our orbit called New Year's Eve. It is an indistinct point in space, not noticeably different from any other point besides the fact that our celestial-based calenders have appointed it. I would prefer we had a large stationary starting post affixed to this point so on clear nights we could all see it coming throughout the later months of the year. I imagine it would be red-and-white striped like a twirling barber's post.

For you geeky types who are saying that such a post cannot be placed. For those of you who say it violates the laws of physics, hear me out...Of course it would need to orbit the sun at the same speed as the Earth to remain at the same distance from the sun. Yet, if it simply had counter clockwise orbit, the post would pass every 6 months...unacceptable. This is a NEW YEARS EVE POST. It needs to pass by the planet once a year.

So, the post needs to orbit on a different plane, probably perpendicular to Earth's orbit. You say this is awkward because the post approaches from the north or south. I say, relax, it's more important that it only comes once a year.

But, you say, that doesn't make any sense, the post will still approach Earth in the middle of summer as well (or winter if you are in the southern hemisphere). Yes, but you place the post on an elliptical orbit so that it is too far away to see when it passes in June. You might need to throw out some other bodies to make adjustments to Earth's gravitational pull, but you could probably make it work.

See? Problem solved. Time for beer.