Natural Resources

Did you hear they're giving out free money?

Did I? Of course, I got my share already.

You did?

Hell yeah.

I thought they were only giving money to companies that were in trouble.

That's right.

Well, you are doing just fine.

I was.

So, what happened?

Well, we were working very hard to make a profit. Too hard. So, we just started being lazy.

Being lazy?

Right, we figured, "why work when you could collect from the government instead."

So, in order to collect, I need to be a troubled business too?

That's right. Just screw up a lot, you're already pretty good at that. You'll be rolling in it in no time. Just make sure you file the papers correctly.

So, the only thing I really need to do is file the request properly? If I've got a whole company devoted simply to filing a few papers, I can't lose.

That's right. And, when you get bailed out, your stock price will go up too. The shareholders will think you will use that money to improve business rather than file more claims. See? Government is really our greatest natural resource!

I better get started doing nothing.

You better hurry, others already have a head start.