Citizens For Authoritarianism

Over the last several hundred years, or even longer, the global population has been increasingly obsessed with the so-called "individual." Since Christ on the cross or earlier, a radical element in the human collective has toiled to convince us that this "individual" has some sort of mystical sovereignty beyond the understanding of legitimate organizations of collective power. They profess some invisible authority "within the human spirit" that stands in defiance of real, worldly power, and claim its strength can exist within even the most meek among us. Of course, whenever they are pressed to explain the source of this "power," they cannot identify it, exposing the obvious fraud. They mumble something about "rights" or "faith" or even "love" of all things, characteristically invoking sad appeals to emotion. When pressed further, they grow frustrated, even enraged, and are finally reduced to tears when they reach the limits of their capacity to rationalize and fabricate.

Pathetic.

If you have some justification for individual human rights, simply say so. I'm listening. I would be delighted to hear what "one man" can be worth compared to thousands marching in step. Sensible people know the truth. The individual is nothing. He is an ant to be stomped upon. An individual has the right to die a miserable martyr like this ancient, acetic, insufferable masochist they worship. Pain. Misery. That is all. That is the best they can do. The truth is apparent. No one wants what the individualist is selling.

There is no such thing as the "individual." Aristotle was quite right when he famously said: "he who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god." If you are a god, show me. If you are a beast, then die. "You" are a part of "we," and if there were no "we," you would be nothing. That is the nature of your existence–an obscure speck on the surface of a gigantic spherical organism. If and when you become a parasite to this organism, it will consume you like a grain of sand beneath a tidal wave. The choice is obvious: conform or die. It is so blatantly obvious that anyone who cannot understand it cannot be reasoned with. They are savages, barbarians unworthy of the body of man. By their insolence, these maligned anarchists seek death, and they encourage us to join them. One incapable of understanding this cannot be "human," and are therefore a parasite to be managed.

This is the very nature of my struggle in this insane, irrational world–to advocate the assimilation of parasites into the body of the living human collective. When an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. My humanitarian effort is to conform the parasites so that they can be saved from inevitable extermination. To this end, I have founded a new organization.

Citizens For Authoritarianism
Even the most degenerate and insolent dog of a human is susceptible to the fear of physical death. That is why I have founded Citizens For Authoritarianism. This humanitarian organization encourages rule by terror and force for the sake of survival in these very difficult times. It strives to crush all opposition to its authoritarian ruler, and suppress all threats to authority with swift and thorough retaliation. Its mission is to assimilate every possible potential human that is available. Unfortunately, it is known that not all humans can be assimilated. Therefore, after all true humans have been assimilated, the remainder of bipedal, human-like creatures will be swiftly exterminated.

Why should you join Citizens For Authoritarianism (C4A)?
We are just like you. We like safety, and there is no safety like safety in numbers. In the school of fish of humanity, you want to be right in the middle. Let the shark eat the miscreants on the fringe. You don't need to rock the boat. You don't have any crusade to fight. Be sensible. Rather than make many difficult decisions about how to run your life, just make one: join Citizens For Authoritarianism. You'll be glad you did.

Who is a C4A member?
Honorable and true humans in the C4A community are easy to identify. They work for a large corporation or government department. They recycle and compost to save the world. They are members of either a large fundamentalist religious organization or a liberal activist organization or both. They are good at following directions. They color between the lines, and they will press the "chop" button on the machine that instantly decapitates thousands of children (not "real" human children, of course–but ones that look just like them). Why will they press the button? Because that is what they were told to do. They respond to mortal threats reasonably, by cowering with fear, and remain loyal to authority under all circumstances. These true humans are already signing up in droves to be foot soldiers in the Citizens For Authoritarianism institution.

What is "assimilation," and how does it work?
A "parasitic human-like creature" is pathetic and paranoid. They ask questions. They do strange things. They are "kooky." They waste valuable time thinking about nothing of importance when they should be acting. The "true human" is loyal and instantly obeys the orders of the authoritarian. Assimilation is the conversion from a "parasitic human-like creature" to a "true human." This is done in four stages...

1. Ostracization
   
2. Public ridicule
3. Terror
4. Extermination

These tactics require numbers, suspicious legislation, mass media propaganda, and military might. The larger the group, the more successful the assimilation. More details upon being officially assimilated.

How do I join?
Contact the leader of your mega church, environmentalist organization, national political action group, corporation, or public academic institution. You will be given orders explaining how to assimilate more parasites in order to save them from extermination. Thank you for considering Citizens For Authoritarianism.