Pwned! Everything!

Once Sam had found the final piece he stood back and looked at the giant jigsaw puzzle in awe. The years he spent acquiring the pieces did not disappoint, and came together in a glorious display. But, the final picture was so unexpected he put down his hot dog in amazement. What does one do with all the money, power, and influence in the world anyway? I didn't really care for all of it...

The years of struggling to earn a piece of the pie, and it was so simple all along. Why hadn't anyone else thought of this, he thought, admiring the delicate brush strokes. "Pwned! Everything! How shall I use it?" he thought...

First, I will make myself rich, he thought. Rich people can afford all of the things that happy people seem to have.

Second, I will make myself famous. Famous people seem to be the envy of everyone. So they must be happy.

Finally, I will be powerful. People will listen to me and do anything I say.

"Mr. Puzzle, now that you have been solved, we shall be great friends."

Using the information acquired on the puzzle, Sam began his quest. He looked at the puzzle and became rich, purchasing a giant mansion on the coast. Then, he consulted the puzzle again and became famous, and the envy of all who envied. Then, he became powerful, and people listened to him and did what he said. All he had ever dreamed of, he now had.

He sat on his balcony overlooking his zebra herd. He had the butler bring him another glass of dubbel. He spoke with the prime minister of England. He pondered the simple years he spent piecing together the puzzle and all of the agony and frustration. Those were the most difficult years of his life, and yet, he somehow cherished them. Looking through the bubbles in his ornate glass he wondered whether he would go back if he had the chance. He wondered if he had really acquired all the happiness he truly desired...

"Hell yas, lemon grass" he said out loud. "Butler, I'll take one more dubbel."