On Marriage

Weddings have a way of putting things back into perspective. I know many say that they "don't need a piece of paper" to prove their love for one another. Fair enough. Others may love someone, but know they are incapable of a lifetime commitment. An important thing to consider before getting married for sure. Some "don't believe in marriage" altogether for all of the many practical and logical reasons. And, while I totally respect these opinions, I struggle to see much around that carries as much meaning as getting hitched.

Here, in a society that profoundly rejects everything religious, western, and traditional, why would two people subject themselves to the humiliation of appearing to give-in to the social pressures of a bygone era? I mean, really, isn't that what it boils down to today? By getting married don't we open ourselves to the masses of those, who for our own good, warn us: "you're only doing this because someone told you to...it's not real!"

Then, the talking heads on TV tell us marriage is this or that to collect their paychecks, the politicians argue about who can get married and who can't to get votes. Everyone seems to have a lot to say about the matter.

I'm completely marred by bias as a husband, but I actually think that makes me qualified to say a word on the subject. I have always been skeptical of "activists" merely because being one seems to ensure you will get absolutely nothing done (if you even know what you're doing). But, a bride and groom are actually the most effective "activists" imaginable.

As we trudge through heaping piles of bullshit throughout our daily lives, a man and a woman can choose to make a statement that actually has the potential to mean something. You have the opportunity to stand before everyone you know and make a series of outrageous statements. You have the nerve to stand up there and say something utterly impossible with a straight face, mean it completely, and people listen. In fact, of all the things you say in your life, these may be the few words anyone actually does believe.

Or maybe not. They could still mean nothing, as always...But, where truth is, it must be separated from the bullshit, and weddings are one effective mechanism we use to do that. It's 15 minutes where you get the benefit of the doubt. And, if ever something needed to be said, these things would be it.

And hell, the weddings that are indeed bullshit, well, at least you got dinner and the chance to booze it up with your friends. (Fortunately, the weddings I have been part of have all been the best of both worlds.)

I'm not going to discuss the meat of marriage as that's between each bride, groom, and the giant spaghetti monster, but when I see other couples share some of the same ideas I/we have about what marriage means, I do find it deeply moving, and definitely a reason to celebrate.

So, with that, I'd like to congratulate Craig and Kelly, and officially wish them a long, happy, healthy marriage! I do believe I witnessed something "real" Saturday, and in this world, that means quite a lot. Cheers!

(And I also ask them to try to forgive the incomprehensible garbage they saw on my impromptu - undeletable - video interview...ug).